clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have tasted many bathrooms
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
