I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Farmville is her only friend.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
