If i come over, it means nothing
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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