So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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