Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When did angry sex become our thing?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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