i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
