HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The best revenge is premature balding
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
