He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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