literally had 100 drinks last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't deserve a penis
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
