dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
