You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
