she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
