he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
