I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I believe in your delicious
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
