I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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