we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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