we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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