fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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