I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
