'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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