you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
