Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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