Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
