I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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