When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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