We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
