I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
