Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
