Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
