Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
