They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I enjoy the company of your penis
Where are you guys?
Drunk
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
