I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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