Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
