so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
