Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
