I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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