I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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