my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
