I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
