did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
