what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
