You're so nebulous sometimes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
