Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
