New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
