she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
