I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i came on her dog
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
