Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
