so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Found your dick twin last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
