smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
