so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
