I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
