when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
