3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
