I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
