i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
